Babies, What a Leveller
People talk a lot about how your priorities change when you have children.
To be honest, that has often sounded a bit self-important to me. Like, you don’t really know what’s important in life until you have kids, and *I* know, because I’ve got so much more experience with real love than you do.
Things that are important in your insignificant little life aren’t in mine, because I have *really* important calls on my time.
Yeah, shut up.
And now I have a kidlet. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bang on about how your priorities change. They haven’t!
The things that were important to me before are still important to me now:
- Getting out to see friends (and being able to really be present with them instead of distracted by chasing around a bambino)
- Going to interesting evening events – theatre, fun dinners, movies, art shows…
- Exercising and moving my body
- Horse riding
- Having a career that energises me and makes me think
I spend a lot of time working out baby logistics to make all of those things happen.
I baby swap to horse ride and to go out at night, the husbandito and I tag team parent sometimes, so we can both get out, I have a few babysitters I use regularly who Chachi knows and loves, I go to a gym with a crèche (and in fact am writing this post-workout in the gym cafe while the little dude is asleep in the crèche), I drag him along to a lot of activities (and find that if I take toys, food, and hold him in my lap for cuddles that he’s generally happy!).
The occasional screamer means I have to change plans, but he’s a social little guy. I’ve taken several road trips, interstate trips and one big overseas trip since he was born, and more are in the works. I kind of figure, if I just live how I want to live then he’ll get used to that being his life, and happily join in!*
But I have noticed that it’s a bit of a leveller.
My priorities haven’t changed (apart from adding in the new one of playing with the Cheech), but I have a very low tolerance for things that aren’t on my priority list.
I don’t meet up with toxic friends, I don’t compromise much on what I want to spend my time doing. You never get that time back!
So it does mean that some friendships are fading a bit. Friends where we weren’t held together by much anymore anyway, or friends where it’s not energising to see them. It also means that I don’t head out for nighttime activities that I don’t think will be awesome, or when I’m exhausted and know I just need to sleep. It’s much harder to catch up on that sleep with a kidlet, and I’d rather spend the babysitting money, ticket fee and energy on something I think I’m going to love.
I don’t bother finishing books that aren’t gripping me. There are too many books and I don’t get to read enough anymore.
So you see, my priorities haven’t changed, but the new additional priority of spending time with the little dude and loving life as a family (and sleep. Sleeeeeeeeepp!) just mean that the things at the bottom of the list have fallen to the wayside.
Babies. A leveller.
Do you find the same? Have you focussed more on the things you love and less on the things you don’t since having kidlets?
*for example, he is in the car every single day. So he’s fine in his car seat, sleeps easily in the car, and plays happily in the back seat. Of course it’s chicken and egg, you never know whether I find it easier to get out more because he’s fine in the car, or he’s fine in the car because I’ve always taken him out so much, but either way it’s made my life much more mobile.
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