Does Having a Baby Ruin Your Life?
I’m pretty sure every parent has, at one point or another, looked at their child and thought silently to themselves ‘what the fuck have I done?’
Kids are hard, they change your life, they change your relationship, they take away all your time. The things they add to life are beautiful moments of love, connection and laughter that don’t translate well to anyone who isnt’t the parent of the child about whom the story is being told.*
So yeah. It’s easy to think that sometimes kids ruin your life.
1. There is that love. It’s big. I am constantly thinking to myself ‘oh my god he is so CUUUUTTTEE!’. Sometimes even as he’s tantruming I just think it’s funny.
2. Maybe more importantly, it’s up to you how much you decide to do and keep doing once a kidlet joins your family.
- In his 21 month-long life, we’ve taken the dude camping by a lake, to the UK, to Sardinia, on a month long trip around Cambodia, Thailand and Singapore, campervanning in New Zealand, on a wine tasting trip to the Hunter Valley with a big group of friends, to the Gold Coast twice to visit family, to Bali and now we’re back in the UK, preparing to head to Portugal, glamping, on a group holiday to the Cotswolds and a few more adventures.
- I run my own business, right from my home. I teach other women how to re-find themselves and keep their passions, even after the tornado of having children has hit their lives. Sometimes with a big job, a family and all the responsibilities that come with life it can be hard to remember what lights us up ourselves.
- I still horse ride regularly. The little dude can’t come with me, it’s time for me, with friends and ponies.
- We have a hiking backpack, and use it all the time. Hiking out in nature is one of my happy places, so I love getting out there, talking to the big dude, standing still while the little dude picks up some rocks or a stick, breathing in the clean air and talking out the meaning of life.
- I love seeing friends, and try to fit the little guy in around that. Our travel cot gets a LOT of use, as we cart the dude to friends houses for dinners, on weekends away and sometimes to stay at Granny’s place. As an added bonus, he’s become a legendary sleeper and slept through 12 of us playing Family Fortunes right next to his open bedroom door last week.
- So what do you love? What lights you up? And most of all… do you do it? Even with a child?
Here’s a little challenge for you, to remind yourself that having a baby might not ruin your life.
This week, I want you to:
- Take your little people out somewhere that you have to go and normally dread taking them. Maybe the supermarket. And turn it into a game. Give yourself plenty of time, plan this as the activity for the day, and see how you can bring fun and joy to the moments when you often feel trapped and frustrated. If you want some more tips with this one put a comment below and I’ll see how I can help!
- Leave your kidlet(s) with someone. Your partner, a family member, a friend, and head out to do something you love. Logistics can stop us doing things because it all feels too hard, so make this as easy as you can. Is it easier to get someone to help during naptime? Then do that. Do you have really limited time? Then plan for a short activity. I love lying on the floor of the living room in the sun reading a book. That doesn’t have to take very long, and you’ll get a little bit of joy into your day.
I would LOVE to know if you face the challenge and start to welcome a bit of joy into your life, so comment below and let me know what you get up to!
*case and point: the little dude climbed up on my lap when I was sitting on the couch recently, put his mouth around my nose and bit (not realising yet that biting hurts). I yelped and turned my head away. He then realised something was up, so spent the next 15 minutes slowly putting his mouth around my nose, then I’d wipe my head away and he would dissolve into peals of laughter. And so did I. It was the funniest moment of my week, but to retell? I’m pretty sure it sounds a little lame.
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