What Would You Do If You Loved Yourself?

I think Alice Nicholls from The Whole Daily is ace! She’s funny, she’s kind and she eats chocolate for breakfast – that’s my kind of gal!

Through a serendipitous turn of events, I won a spot in her Life Transformation Project from My Best Me Australia.* Woohoo!

Her opening line for the four week journey was:

“What would someone who loves themself do?”

The Everyday Adventure

Now, I’ve heard this before (and probably, so have you). You know… the old #selflove movement, where people tell you to talk to yourself the way you’d speak to your best friend, and treat yourself the way you’d tell others to treat themself (it’s like the opposite of the Golden Rule! Do to yourself what you’d like others to do to themselves. Haha).

But none of that really stuck.

Then along came Alice. And for some reason, this way of questioning made it all make sense to me.

Maybe it’s because it’s not telling me to do anything – it’s just a question. What would someone else do?

Maybe it’s because it’s not judging what I’ve done – it’s just an open question. In this situation, what would someone who loves themself do? In that circumstance that has passed, what would someone who loves themself do?

Simple.

Initially, I kept forgetting to ask myself. So let’s just say I ate a whole big block of chocolate even though I know that does not make me feel good in any way. I mean, not that I did, but let’s just say. For examples sake.**

I ate the chocolate, and then I remembered the question. My answer?

‘They probably wouldn’t have eaten that big block of chocolate.’

But now that it’s done, they certainly wouldn’t beat themselves up about it all day.

We can only start from where we are, so I’ll start from there with kindness.

Then, I stayed up too late binge watching bad tv shows.^ I forgot to ask myself the question during dinner, it got late, I got tired. When I finally remembered, my answer once again was

‘They probably wouldn’t have stayed up too late watching crap.’

But now that it’s done, they certainly wouldn’t beat themselves up about it all night.

We can only start from where we are, so I’ll start from there with kindness.

So the question made me start noticing my behaviours, without judgement, and then being kind to myself as I made those discoveries. I stopped being blind to what I was doing, and we all know that being aware of our less-than-awesome behaviour is the first step to change. Before you admit you have a problem, nothing can be done.

I spent about a week retrospectively asking myself what someone who loved themself would do, and then responding to my late realisations with kindness. Then I started remembering the question BEFORE I acted! And lo and behold, the self love question made me shift my course ever so slightly again and again.

So when I was messing around with some new software to make a sales page for my retreat, I suddenly realised my jet-lagged bub was asleep and the most important thing for me to do was get some sleep myself.

Then I decided it was time to quit sugar (again) and I just… did.

Then there were some biz things I was umming and ahhing about, so I just let it go, and gave myself some time. Now those things are all falling into place!

And now, because I’m acting like someone who loves herself, even if I don’t love all of myself all of the time, I’m going to bed.

Big love,

Sam xx

 

*that’s a story for another time. Let’s call it being in the flow for now.

**ok, I did.

^A little factoid about me. I don’t watch a lot of tv, but most of what I do watch is truly horrendous reality tv.

 

 

Like this post? Get your FREE Cheat Sheet

50 Things To Do Right Now When You’re Bored!

… and receive regular updates as well 🙂

15 Comments on What Would You Do If You Loved Yourself?

  1. Jane
    June 21, 2014 at 8:19 PM (3 years ago)

    A beautiful post Sammy. I really have to start doing this. Oh, and thank you for putting me on to a Whole Daily, I have been binge reading it and I love it!

    Reply
    • samantha
      June 24, 2014 at 5:36 PM (3 years ago)

      Yes she’s great, isn’t she!
      Glad you like the post 🙂
      xxx

      Reply
  2. Helene Scott
    May 29, 2014 at 10:14 AM (3 years ago)

    Oh how I love this. Thank you — Thank you. A serendipitous find as I’ve known this is an area I’m needing to put some attention on STAT. Your prompts feel open + kind. Thank you! xo, H

    Reply
  3. Janine
    May 29, 2014 at 12:01 AM (3 years ago)

    LOVE this: “Then there were some biz things I was umming and ahhing about, so I just let it go, and gave myself some time. Now those things are all falling into place!” Yes! I need to learn how to do this more often in my own business. Great post!

    Reply
    • samantha
      May 29, 2014 at 8:25 AM (3 years ago)

      thanks so much Janine!
      It’s a great question, even when you ask it after the fact. And even when you didn’t do what someone who loves themself would do.
      xx

      Reply
  4. Hunter Yoga (@HunterCYoga)
    May 28, 2014 at 11:11 PM (3 years ago)

    I love this: “We can only start from where we are, so I’ll start from there with kindness.” Yes, start with kindness and start to get comfortable with some discomfort. Beautiful post, thank you!

    Reply
    • samantha
      May 29, 2014 at 8:25 AM (3 years ago)

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you liked it xxx

      Reply
  5. april
    May 28, 2014 at 4:30 PM (3 years ago)

    “**ok, I did.” this cracked me up, sam! 🙂 what a wonderful way to gently ease into loving yourself . . . to realize from an outsider’s perspective how truly important each little step we take is. hooray for delighting in the care of yourself.

    Reply
    • samantha
      May 28, 2014 at 4:49 PM (3 years ago)

      haha I’m glad I made you laugh!
      So important to celebrate looking after ourselves, everything starts from self care. xx

      Reply
  6. renee bell
    May 28, 2014 at 11:44 AM (3 years ago)

    love love love it
    such an important question and one i am slowly getting in the habit of asking myself!

    Reply
    • samantha
      May 28, 2014 at 4:48 PM (3 years ago)

      Thanks Renee, yes SUCH an important question!!
      I’m only learning, too, but at least we both ARE learning xxx

      Reply
      • renee bell
        January 29, 2015 at 8:20 PM (2 years ago)

        just read it again, still love it.
        got to remember to do this!!! starting again now 🙂

        Reply
        • samantha
          January 30, 2015 at 11:31 AM (2 years ago)

          Yes! It’s hard to remember, isn’t it.
          I go in waves of remembering and then not, but it was good to pull this one out and be reminded. 🙂

          Reply
  7. Alice
    May 28, 2014 at 10:11 AM (3 years ago)

    OK, I laughed and cried. Your *, **, and ^? Hahaha. But seriously my gorgeous woman – how amazing that you won this and we meet in this program. Destined anyway regardless I am sure. I LOVED reading this and learning about this process. Hey, it IS all about now isn’t it. Just awareness. You are a star and I am honoured to know you.

    Reply
    • samantha
      May 28, 2014 at 4:51 PM (3 years ago)

      aaaaaahh thank you so much Alice!!
      Destiny for sure 🙂
      What a complement, my writing took you on a full spectrum emotional journey. xxx

      Reply

Leave a Reply